How it all began!

I'd like to say my journey began on May 24,2006, the day I went for my yearly mamogram. In all true reality, it began long before that. You see I have long delighted in Psalm 139. In verse 16 it states:" Thine eyes did see my substance, yet being unperfect; and in thy book all my members were written, which in continuance were fashioned, when as yet there was none of them." God himself fashioned me and had a purpose for me even before my parents knew about me! How comforting God's words are to me.

So I had the normal test and was called back in early June for higher powered xrays and an ultrasound. I was not worried as I had been called back before and it turned out to be nothing. I was not even concerned when they called me back for a biopsy. I felt like I was following protocol. I really was more nervous about the needle for the biopsy!! The doctor who did the biopsy said it would be 2-3 days and the report would go to my doctor.

The next morning I took Joanna (11) to our doctor for a case of laryingitis she had for two weeks. I had not even thought to ask him about my report since I knew it would be 2-3 days. He checked her out and then asked if the girls had some books to read with them. He sort of got behind them and motioned for me to send them out. I take a hint pretty well, so I sent them to the waiting room!! I fully expected him to say her problem could be something more serious since he had never done this before. I was concerned and became even more so when he sat down and shook his head. You have to know our doctor. If you did, you probably would be going to him. He is caring, one who listens to get the whole picture and on top of that he's fun!! He was acting out of character and it made me nervous. I think I really am blurry now about how he actually told me. But I am quite clear on my reaction! Never in a million years would I have pictured myself doing this!! I stuck my fingers in my ears and said, "La, La, La, I can't hear you." I really did!! (Did I tell you I am 53 years old!) It was not long for tears to set in though as I saw "invasive ductal carcinoma". I did not know what it all meant, except for carcinoma. I never wanted to know anything about cancer. To me, it was mean, big and scary. I will always remember that day-June 13, 2006. My doctor and a dear woman Shirley who worked there gave me some time to regroup. Shirley had been through this and she came in and held my hand and encouraged me and reminded me that the Lord would help me through this. I then had to go out and see my two sweet little girls. David was working quite a distance away that day and I could not call him with this news. I knew it would be best to wait. As we drove to the store, a poem I had read and started to memorize several months before came back to me.

Father, I know that all my life
Is portioned out for me,
And the changes that are sure to come,
I do not fear to see;
But I ask Thee for a present mind
Intent on pleasing Thee.

There is a lot more to the poem but that was all I could remember and all I needed for that moment.