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The girls were worried when I came out of the office and wanted to know what took so long. They knew I had the biopsy so I told them I was going to have surgery because of the results.

Kids are so sweet! They wanted to know if it would cost Daddy a lot of money. I told them we would have to pay a lot but we had insurance that would help with a big part of it. We were going to the store for groceries and some new sneakers for Joanna. Joanna said,"Don't worry about the sneakers Mom, I can keep the ones I have." (She had grown 2 sizes!!) Jerusha had outgrown her Sunday shoes and was not quite into Joanna's. She piped in with, "Mom, I can just wear Joanna's until I fit into them!" It touched my heart.

It was a busy day. We had a school project we were finishing with another family and had reserved a room at the library to work on it. How do I act "normal" when I feel like my life just changed? Still many hours to go as my friend Kim and I were going to a homeschool used curriculum sale after the library. Our husbands were meeting us at the library to pick up kids and it was there in the parking lot of the library that I told my sweetie.

That evening had a surreal feel to it. Seeing lots of fellow homeschoolers, smiling at them and saying, "I'm fine" to the friendly conversation question. I kept thinking, "Do you know I'm not fine? I want to forget this day. And then I wondered how many other people were not fine and maybe felt like crying.

My God is my Shelter from storms. God had been preparing me for this. A few weeks before I had purchased a small book titled "Let Go" by Fenelon. I couldn't get past the first few pages. They were so good and I wanted to keep reading it. "So we must learn to bear all sufferings with composure, even those which come upon us through no fault of our own." And then, "A cross which comes from God ought to be welcomed without any concern for self. And when you accept your cross this way, even though it is painful, you will find that you can bear it in peace."

"Be still my soul:
The Lord is on thy side;
Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain;
Leave to Thy God to order and provide;
In every change He faithful will remain.
Be still, my soul: thy best, thy heavenly Friend
Thro' thorny ways leads to a joyful end."

Be still, my soul:
Thy God doth undertake
To guide the future as He has the past.
Thy hope, thy confidence let nothing shake;
All now mysterious shall be bright at last.
Be still, my soul:
The waves and wind still know
His voice who ruled them while He dwelt below.
author-Katharina von Schlegel 1600's