The Day After

The news was settling in but I still knew so little about it. I knew I first needed a peace with God before I could do any research on my condition.

David was wonderful and supportive. We fell in love many years ago by being prayer partners. I thank God for that bond that has stuck all these years. We prayed and gave it all to God and asked for healing first and for guidance.

My dear friend Val, who I meet at the park to walk in the mornings is one of the ones God chose to help me sort things out. Her listening ear and wise questions were invaluable to me. I'll never forget the park bench where we sat and she prayed for me. How blessed I am.

The next day I went to breastcancer.com and found descriptions of the terms on my report. Here is an excerpt from my letter to Val:
"Just to give a little update. I knew the surgeon's office was supposed to call me, but after checking some information on the Web regarding my diagnosis, I decided to call the surgeon's office myself. I was upset because of a certain word in my diagnosis--invasive. Not a big word, but it is packed with meaning. A better diagnosis would have read "in situ". That would have meant it was contained in the duct. Invasive means it has left the duct and is in surrounding tissue. Thankfully, the office was able to get me in tomorrow at 10:15. The surgeon will be able to explain far more to us. I am a bit more "shook up" but still making choices to be at rest."

David and I have some incredible friends. We do not have family nearby but felt we needed some extra ears while at the surgeon's office. So accompanied by our friend Michele who is a nurse and our friend Tina (who will be talked about later!) we spoke with the surgeon. There was so much information to understand at a time when you don't really want to hear it. But we did like the surgeon and he spent plenty of time and then some answering our questions. My options were lumpectomy with 4-6 weeks of radiation or masectomy with probable chemotherapy. My initial report did not show any lymph involvement but the surgery would have to take place for that to be conclusive. We told them we could not make an appointment yet. We needed time to pray and think. The scheduling nurse passed a binder to me and I shuddered. It read "Oncology Resourse Manual". I did not want to touch it! I didn't want any part of it. It was like taking that book was accepting the cancer and that was hard. I took it home and put it away.

More prayer, reading my Bible, searching to find the answers from my God who has never failed me. I knew I could trust Him. I knew He was good. God is the same yesterday, today and forever. This life changes but He never changes.

People's bodies handle stress differently. Some would say I'm lucky because when I am stressed, I lose my appetite. So that's what went for me but I knew I needed to force myself to eat. Years ago, I battled hypoglycemia. I had asked for prayer according to James 5:14-15 at the church we went to. The pastor and deacons prayed for me. It was a simple, humble prayer asking God to heal. I felt nothing, nor did anyone else but the next morning it was gone. It had been so bad that by the time I woke in the morning, my blood sugar had crashed and David would have to make me and egg and toast or something before I could get up. And just like that, it was gone! I have known God's healing power and I have had other times when I have not been instantly healed. So I knew I could ask in confidence for my Savior to heal me. So after my morning walk, I called my pastor who was on the way home and asked if I could come by for prayer. He and his wife prayed and we asked God for healing. How comforting to know the Word of God and to know that God is our Healer.

I love my family. I have wonderful parents and 8 wonderful siblings. I am very grateful for them. I have a sister who works at a cancer research hospital. I called her and she had me send my report. Their breast center gave the same recommendation. My sister was glad for the early detection and her confidence and expertise helped me tremendously. But I had one hard hoop to jump through. I love my parents dearly and wished that I could be there to tell them and to let them see I was okay. I could see God's hand in this. The Lord was showing me wonderful things through the Bible and also through our extended group of friends. People were sharing, praying for all of us and I could sense God's pleasure in how we were handling ourselves through this trial. But my parents didn't know and I knew it could be difficult for them if they did not see me. So I had an idea and my nurse sister agreed. Some of the family would be at another sister's house on Father's Day. This sister is the one who lives close and does so much already for our parents. Together they would be my voice and body. They could assure my parents that I was okay. I prayed so hard that day for my parents and sisters. I wanted so much to not have it be a burden to them. My sisters "did me good"! My mom called later and I felt so relieved that she could hear that I had a peace from God. Family is God's design. Thanks my dear sisters. Enough for tonight!